Well, it's a sad story. You see, the Skeletal Pirate wasn't always the irritable, emaciated creature we see today. Okay, maybe he was emaciated--he is a skeleton, after all. But he was a pretty respectable one. He had a nice job modeling for anatomy textbooks, which he supplemented by seasonal work in the Halloween industry. He was saving up for a down payment on a Death House. Then Meloria came along. She was beautiful (in a skeletal way), and utterly unattainable. (Rumor has it that Rattlebones is her dad, but that's not been substantiated). Anyway, Meloria was spoiled, and demanded that he bring her gifts to woo her. Magic supplies, pets, clothes, amulets, and the like. The Skeletal Pirate (who wasn't yet a pirate) spent all his crowns on stuff for her. He even went so far as to buy hundreds of Hoard Packs, in the hopes of getting her the pets and mounts she demanded. But still she refused to be Charmed. Desperate, he turned to piracy, haunting the streets of Wizard City, Dragonspyre and Wintertusk, trying to steal stuff from any unsuspecting wizards who happened along. When he won, he would lay his winnings at Meloria's bony feet, but she never gave him more than a nod of thanks. She wasn't charmed, still wouldn't give him the time of day. Eventually he went a little crazy from all this unrequited skeletal love. So now, when he attacks any of us, all he can do is lash out blindly, muttering about how he needs to "charm Meloria." It's sad, really. Someone should get him some help. Or maybe sign him up for a dating service.
