I typed up a real good story for W101 creative writing and I want to know if it's good or not
Cynthia's story ( Part one) Magical Genious by:Alexandria Drake and Elizabeth thundersword
Leaves fluttered over the cement. A man walks into his house; exausted from work. Two little girls hug him as he thanks their babysitter. The man walks up the stairs; to his wife's bedroom. She was quiet... too quiet. He rushes over to the bed, nudges her on the shoulder, and pleeds for a response. But hears only silence. With anxiety, he gently places his fingers under her ear. He finds no signs of life in her at all One of the little girls, me, walks in just to see him crying. Crying so hard that he could hardly keep his bright grey eyes open. I cry because he is crying. My sister, with the same grey eyes as he, questions our tearfulness. The man replies " Y-your m-m-mothe-r is..." but he was too filled with sorrow to speak...
I awake from my dream to a ringing alarm clock. What a strange dream indeed. "My mother is not dead. Is she?" I thought. I get dressed and ready for school as my mother hugs me goodbye. On the way to the Shoppingdistrict I hear a cry for help. A squad of ghouls ambushed a student as they were headed to Ravenwood! " HELP!" They pleeded. So I ran to their rescue. When I arrived at the scene, they where greatly outnumbered... and winning !? " What the heck?" I asked them. " You had the upperhand, why did you call for help when you didn't need it?" " Cause." She replied. " I didn't want anyone to have to miss out out on this action!" She continued as she whiped four out at once with a random blast of death magic. " Necromancer, eh" I asked. " yeah!" She replied. " Well, I'm a conjurer on the A honor role!" I boasted. " Oh! me too!" She answered to my surprize. " I'm getting high marks on my report card!" From then on we were the best of friends. What was so strange about her ( Known as Cassandra Drake) had the same eyes as the man and the little girl. Was she the little girl? When I entered the myth school, Prof. Cyrus Drake lowered his eyebrows at me. " Cynthia. Hmph. You're late!" He scoweled. " Hey. Look. It's that weirdo with no lastname." Someone mumbled to their friend. It is true, I have no lastname that I know of (my mother is not my biolodgical mother at all, she's Gloria Krendell.) I sat down in my seat as he told us our assignment. Our task was to summon an illusion of what we dreamed of most recently. We went outside to an empty area where my friend, Elizabeth Thundersword's friend, Haley Mythblade went first. She had a nightmare that she was eaten alive. Then it was my turn. To be continued...
EDITED VERSION:
Cynthia's story ( Part one) Magical Genious by:Alexandria Drake and Elizabeth thundersword
Leaves fluttered over the cement. A man walks into his house; exausted from work. Two little girls hug him as he thanks their babysitter. The man walks up the stairs; to his wife's bedroom. She was quiet... too quiet. He rushes over to the bed, nudges her on the shoulder, and pleads for a response. But hears only silence. With anxiety, he gently places his fingers under her ear. He finds no signs of life in her at all One of the little girls, me, walks in just to see him crying. Crying so hard that he could hardly keep his bright grey eyes open. I cry because he is crying. My sister, with the same grey eyes as he, questions our tearfulness. The man replies " Y-your m-m-mothe-r is..." but he was too filled with sorrow to speak...
I awoke from my dream to a ringing alarm clock. What a strange dream indeed. "My mother is not dead. Is she?" I thought. I got dressed and ready for school as my mother hugged me goodbye. On the way to the Shoppingdistrict I heard a cry for help. A squad of ghouls ambushed a student as they were headed to Ravenwood! " HELP!" They pleaded. So I ran to their rescue. When I arrived at the scene, they where greatly outnumbered... and winning !? " What the heck?" I asked them. " You had the upperhand, why did you call for help when you didn't need it?" " Cause." She replied. " I didn't want anyone to have to miss out on this action!" She continued as she whiped four out at once with a random blast of death magic. " Necromancer, eh" I asked. " yeah!" She replied. " Well, I'm a conjurer on the A honor role!" I boasted. " Oh! me too!" She answered to my surprize. " I'm getting high marks on my report card!" From then on we were the best of friends. What was so strange about her ( Known as Cassandra Drake) had the same eyes as the man and the little girl. Was she the little girl? When I entered the myth school, Prof. Cyrus Drake lowered his eyebrows at me. " Cynthia. Hmph. You're late!" He scoweled. " Hey. Look. It's that weirdo with no lastname." Someone mumbled to their friend. It is true, I had no lastname that I knew of (my mother is not my biolodgical mother at all, she's Gloria Krendell.) I sat down in my seat as he told us our assignment. Our task was to summon an illusion of what we dreamed of most recently. We went outside to an empty area where my friend, Elizabeth Thundersword's friend, Haley Mythblade went first. She had a nightmare that she was eaten alive. Then it was my turn. To be continued...
Cynthia's story (Part 2): A vision By: Alexdria Drake& Elizabeth Thundersword
It was perfect! My setting was the commons. The man in my dream entered the house on the corner which now has a FOR SALE sign on it...
I closed my eyes and pictured my dream. But when I summoned it, the dream had way more detail. The man was then not just dressed in black, his robe had bottons of gold, a gold sash tied around his waist, and two yellow dragons on the front. His staff was black and had a miniture sculpture of the Great Dragon Titan over a red orb on the top. The dragon's tail looped around the upper part of the staff and the orb was connected to a silver bracket. Instead of him having just grey eyes. He had eyes like Cassandra. They were black where they were supposed to be white! His black hair was done in braids and a ponytail. The braids when from near the top of his head, behind his ears, and to his shoulders. His ponytail was tied with a gold hairtie and was directly where his head meets his neck. The woman's room looked like something a thuergist would have and the two girls were one years old and looked like me an Cassandra! When the dream appeared, the house with the FOR SALE sign on it was not for sale anymore. Cyrus turned quickly as the man came from the Ravenwood gate. He looked in astonishment. "Malistaire?" He puzzled. Malistaire opened the door to the house and the two girls hugged him. " Thankyou ma'am" He said to their babysitter. He hurried up the stairs with something after putting his staff on the wall. He opens the door to his wife's room which is emerald green and gold. He walks over and sits by the bed, worried why she is breathing so silently. He nudges her on the shoulder and speaks " Sylvia. Wake up dear." But there is no response from Sylvia. He could not yet comprehend that she was dead. So he gently placed his fingers on the pressure point under her ear, found she was dead,and backed away in surprize. " I-i-it can't be." He cries " She's not dead. No. This is all just a crazy dream. In a few seconds I shall awake from this horrible nightmare. It has to be a nightmare. Because nothing else scares me." He pinchesd his arm. It is not the pinching that hurts him at all. A soon as he discovers he has feeling. He cries. " Why Sylvia?" " Why her?" " Why not me?" " Sylvia nor I ever diserved such circumstance." He continues rambling as I intrude on his emotional break down. " Dada?" I ask " Why are you crying?" " Come here." He says. I walk to his side in the manor that a one year old would. " Cynthia." He said with sorrow." Your mother is gone. " But she's right there." I replied. " No. She's d-dead." "Mama?" I said tearfully. Cassandra steped in with her teddy bear that had a chewed off ear and asked us why we were crying. Malistaire replied " Your mother is..." But he was to sad to continue. Meanwhile, Cyrus stood speechlessly watching every occurance in awe. Everybody else but Cassandra who coincidentally was in my myth class as a secondary magic thought this as bogus, rubbish, a figment of my imagination. " You just played out an entire recallection of the day my brother discovered his wife was dead!" Cyrus said in amazment. " That was at least eleven years ago!" " What?" I said. " That guy's your brother?" " Hhhhph. Yes, he is..." Cyrus replied. To be continued...
Oh you spelled pleaded, pleeded, so it was wrong...and here I have a story of my own.
The daylight and sun hid behind the enchanted Hill of Sorrow as I trudged to my MooShu castle from my long day at work in the Wand Shop. The shop, close to the cave to Olde Town, was a nifty little store in the Shopping District. The leaves were crunching as I walked toward the house, to my pet Fire Salamander, Queen Daisy, my pet Dragon, Buddy, and my mount in her small stable, Chestnut.
I came home, changed into my pajamas, walked outside, and to my surprise, I heard a howl; I thought what it could be, but nothing came to my mind. Wolves; perhaps? No, that couldn't be it. I thought there for a moment, and just decided to leave it alone. I went to Chestnut's stable, let her out, and made her a string of sausages. She gobbled it up; reminding me of a gobbler. I decided to go back to the backyard again and search around for the noise. And with no shock out of me; I still heard the noise. I explored; (it was dark outside so I brought Chestnut, my nifty Light-Up Wand, and some sausages) and as the noise got louder, I grew more and more nervous. I had a feeling in me to go back; but I also had a feeling to stay. The rushing river ran over the rigid rocks on the right side of me and Chestnut. We kept walking, and I had felt we were, according to how loud it was, 4-5 yards away. I gripped Chestnut's reins tightly in my hand, feeling nervous. I stepped on a twig, the noise stopped; and I figured it got scared. "Hello? Is anyone there?" I said. "Hellooooooo? Anyone out there?" I was beggining to get scared. What if the howl WAS from a wolf? I started breathing hard; like I had just come out of an 100-meter race and I won.
I gulped, and started searching again. I flashed my flashlight everywhere; on the tree's leaves up high, to the leaves, twigs, and mud on the ground. Nothing. Wait, I think I heard something. Not a howl or a bark, more of a growl. I shined my flashlight rapidly all around me again, I thought I saw something. What was it? A bear? Well, it sure looked like a bear. I wanted to go home badly now. I started running; I heard something running after me. I hid behind a huge bush and turned off my flashlight. I hopped on Chestnut and flipped the switch on my flashlight. Chestnut trotted faster than she ever did before, and I thought for a moment. What did I bring again? Chestnut, my flashlight, and SAUSAGES. The bear wanted my sausages! That was it! I reached into my handbag and took out the sausages. I dropped them, but the bear didn't seem to want it. Chestnut kept trotting, and the bear kept following us. The bear was catching up, and was almost able to bite Chestnut. I could tell she was getting tired, but she was trying; I knew she knew that we were in danger. The bear was right by Chestnut and she was getting extremely tired. He opened his mouth and I could see by the look of his fierce and sharp teeth, I knew this idea of looking in the wild, was not a good idea. His jaw almost clamped on Chestnut's side and my leg, when suddenly, I sat up. That was all a dream! Whew, what a relief! The next day, I told everybody about my dream, and they sounded like I was crazy or wacko.
So here I am at work, at the Wand Shop, in the Shopping District at 7:32 a.m. and there is a new hit wand I am about to create: The Nifty Light-Up Wand:When you need light, this a bright choice! Get yours for 550 gold today.
I typed up a real good story for W101 creative writing and I want to know if it's good or not
Cynthia's story ( Part one) Magical Genious by:Alexandria Drake and Elizabeth thundersword
Leaves fluttered over the cement. A man walks into his house; exausted from work. Two little girls hug him as he thanks their babysitter. The man walks up the stairs; to his wife's bedroom. She was quiet... too quiet. He rushes over to the bed, nudges her on the shoulder, and pleeds for a response. But hears only silence. With anxiety, he gently places his fingers under her ear. He finds no signs of life in her at all One of the little girls, me, walks in just to see him crying. Crying so hard that he could hardly keep his bright grey eyes open. I cry because he is crying. My sister, with the same grey eyes as he, questions our tearfulness. The man replies " Y-your m-m-mothe-r is..." but he was too filled with sorrow to speak...
I awake from my dream to a ringing alarm clock. What a strange dream indeed. "My mother is not dead. Is she?" I thought. I get dressed and ready for school as my mother hugs me goodbye. On the way to the Shoppingdistrict I hear a cry for help. A squad of ghouls ambushed a student as they were headed to Ravenwood! " HELP!" They pleeded. So I ran to their rescue. When I arrived at the scene, they where greatly outnumbered... and winning !? " What the heck?" I asked them. " You had the upperhand, why did you call for help when you didn't need it?" " Cause." She replied. " I didn't want anyone to have to miss out out on this action!" She continued as she whiped four out at once with a random blast of death magic. " Necromancer, eh" I asked. " yeah!" She replied. " Well, I'm a conjurer on the A honor role!" I boasted. " Oh! me too!" She answered to my surprize. " I'm getting high marks on my report card!" From then on we were the best of friends. What was so strange about her ( Known as Cassandra Drake) had the same eyes as the man and the little girl. Was she the little girl? When I entered the myth school, Prof. Cyrus Drake lowered his eyebrows at me. " Cynthia. Hmph. You're late!" He scoweled. " Hey. Look. It's that weirdo with no lastname." Someone mumbled to their friend. It is true, I have no lastname that I know of (my mother is not my biolodgical mother at all, she's Gloria Krendell.) I sat down in my seat as he told us our assignment. Our task was to summon an illusion of what we dreamed of most recently. We went outside to an empty area where my friend, Elizabeth Thundersword's friend, Haley Mythblade went first. She had a nightmare that she was eaten alive. Then it was my turn. To be continued...
"luke,your reward for ridding the order of most of the tuts is... a house!" "yesssssss!"I shouted.my name is luke rider,level 30 necromancer,member of the order of the fang."here is the key to your island." said shalak."use it with wisdom." "wisdom?" BOOOM! "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"....
"huh?...my...my castle?" I said I looked at a very large tent.as I turned around,I noticed two torches next to the spiral door.both were unlight. also a large prymid blocked up by sand stones .I choose to summon minons to help find out whats behind the entrance.we all grabbed a piece of sand stone and pulled.after mine was out something smacked me.when I woke up my minons were dead,+ the spiral door was ablitorated.as I walked to the entrance,some sandstones were pulp.inside I found a minon's bones,a campfire and............
my krokatopian home