This is something that happened a couple of days ago, and it's been bothering me ever since. Part of me thinks I was right; the other part of me thinks I was being a total hypocrite. Before I explain what happened I just wanna share my views on jumping into battles.
I don't in any way think that battles are private, and I truly dislike when people say that their battles are their battles and "you should ask before you join, or else you're being exceptionally rude". In my opinion, that's erroneous and unrealistic to expect every single wizard to ask before jumping in. However, I do have a rule of thumb that I try to abide to jumping into battles:
If one person is fighting one monster type A and two monster type B, I won't join.
If I see someone, or a group of people, fighting against monster type A, I'll join and bring in another monster type A. My thinking is just in case they didn't want me to join, at least I did them some sort of favor.
If two people are fighting one monster type A and two monster type B, I'll bring in a monster type B thinking why would another person join if they weren't sure a monster type that they need to collect wasn't coming?
Now, this is what happened the other day: I was fighting in Dragonspyre with my Diviner. I needed to fight Undead Wizards, and when I entered (I can't remember the name of the street), I saw two wizards fighting two Undead Wizards and a Crystal Crawler. Abiding by my rule of thumb, I joined and brought in another Undead Wizard. They didn't say anything to me (period), so I guess I assumed everything was fine. Anyway, the fight ended and I went to fight some more Undead Wizards. I finally was able to get into a fight with two of them after biding my time and figuring out the right angle to come at them since the area is abundant with Undead Wizards and Crystal Crawlers. As soon as the fight starts, the same two wizards join my fight and bring in Crystal Crawlers. Completely confused, I said, "Nooooooo! Why'd you bring in Crawlers?!" They replied, "We need them." I responded with, "Then why didn't you just start your own fight?" Then they got annoyed and responded with, "Wait. We didn't say anything when you joined our fight! Now I'm mad." You can only imagine where it went from there.
So my question is what, if anything, did I do wrong? Was I in the right? Were they in the right? Was I being a hypocrite? Should I have just dropped the issue and not said anything?
Depends on several things. That can't really be answered so simply because no two people play the game/think alike.
You believe it's ok to join a battle already in progress without asking going by your "rule of thumb". If it works for you go for it. I always ask first and then I know if they want me to draw in a certain type of enemy or just help. If I get told "no" not a problem. Go on down the street and do my own.
In all fairness to you...since they didn't speak you had no way of knowing if you'd irked them joining their battle or not. In that situation I usually don't speak either. Just fight the battle and go on even if it means me dying. Hey it's just my time being wasted right?
Them joining your battle and drawing in something "you" didn't need. Hmm, well you did the same thing to them. Maybe they have a different rule of thumb they play by. But you get annoyed.
I use to get frustrated by others joining a street fight I was fighting alone and it was a close one that I could survive if no other enemy was added. (Contrary to what others has said. The new enemy joining does not always focus on the player that just joined, even if I sat out the first round). I even posted a polite request on the forum about that.
I have since relaxed much more on that and figured if I die, I die, I just go back and continue on.
The street you were on sounds like one in the Grand Chasm. The undead wizards and spiders are mixed up together and it is hard to attract just the undead wizards.
The rule you try to follow for yourself may seems logical to you, but you cannot expect other players in the game to think the same way or to know what your personal guidelines are. You cannot know unless other players tell you which enemies they want to battle and which ones they don't. In streets where the enemies are mixed up like that you can try to time yourself and hope you get most of what you want, but there is always that chance you won't.
When you join a battle already in progress, all the other player or players know is that you joined, period. Most likely they figured since you joined them, you would have no problem if they did the same. I imagine they may have been a bit taken aback with your response to their joining.
So my question is what, if anything, did I do wrong? Was I in the right? Were they in the right? Was I being a hypocrite? Should I have just dropped the issue and not said anything?
As I pointed out above, there were assumptions made. You did not communicate with them when you joined and they did not talk to you. Which is fine as long as you do not expect them to know how you are thinking. They very well may not have minded you joining them until you complained about them joining you.
Communicating when you joined in the battle may have prevented any future problem. For example: "I need enemy A, I hope my joining is ok" Or other words to that effect. That would have alerted the other players what your goals are.
When people do not take the time to communicate their wishes, goals, ect. Then assumptions come into play, which seems to have happened here. If one chooses not to bother with communicating with other players, then they cannot expect other players to know what they want or don't want.
From what I read, the other players had no way of knowing their joining you would have been a problem. They did not complain nor were they rude to you when you joined them earlier. Are you being hypocritical? Yes - You say that no battle is private, and that is true they are not. You join any battle you wish, using a private set of guidelines, yet you complain when others join. It is unrealistic for you to expect others to know your guidelines or to even follow them. They had every right to join in the battle you were in.
I think they had every reason to be upset with your response. The other people in the game aren't really wizards in real life, you know- they can't read your mind. -eli and crew
1. I didn't pull my rule of thumb out of thin air. Heck, it's probably not even mine in the first place. I've learned this over years of playing the game. I surely can't be the only person that does this.
2. I wasn't particularly annoyed when they joined; I was more confused because I didn't understand why they joined. I was fighting Undead Wizards when they needed Crawlers; they completely ignored me the last fight (and I did try to talk to them), so they obviously weren't looking to be social.
3. I have never run into this type of situation before, which is why I'm so thrown for a loop.
1. I didn't pull my rule of thumb out of thin air. Heck, it's probably not even mine in the first place. I've learned this over years of playing the game. I surely can't be the only person that does this.
You probably aren't the only one that does this. But like Safyr said....no one can read your mind and if there's limited or no communication then neither party knows what the other is thinking . No one automatically knows your battle style and it takes several battles fighting with someone to get an idea of how they fight and likely anticipate what you might do. Or at least for me it does.
2. I wasn't particularly annoyed when they joined; I was more confused because I didn't understand why they joined. I was fighting Undead Wizards when they needed Crawlers; they completely ignored me the last fight (and I did try to talk to them), so they obviously weren't looking to be social.
You stated you were slightly annoyed. That's probably what most of us that responded were going by when we answered. I can understand the confusion but unless those wizards responded to you here on the message boards there's really no way of knowing what they might have been thinking joining your battle. I can't pretend to know the "why did's" or "how come's" some people on this game do and for the most part just ignore much of what I don't personally care for anymore.
3. I have never run into this type of situation before, which is why I'm so thrown for a loop.
As more people join playing I guess we're all going to have situations we don't understand happening.
Looking over everything that's been said the only thing I see is if maybe you had just said "Hey you guys need help with the Undead?" and maybe they'd been a bit more social things might not have gotten where they did.
No one plays the game exactly alike and we all have different little quirks that may seem strange to others and completely normal to each of us. Kind of like in real life we're a soup pot of all kinds of leftovers thrown together blending in and somehow kinda turning out pretty well lol or so the cook hopes.
1. I didn't pull my rule of thumb out of thin air. Heck, it's probably not even mine in the first place. I've learned this over years of playing the game. I surely can't be the only person that does this.
Personally I had to read over the rule you go by a couple of times before I got what the reasoning was. Once I did, it made sense. However it is limited as was demonstrated by the situation you described. Not everyone plays the game the same way. There is more than one way to approach and play the game. It is not unusual for me to be playing more than one quest or going after more than one goal (badges for example) at one time. If I were after undead wizards for one quest and spiders for my spider badge, for example, having both available to fight at the same time would suit me fine.
You may assume if you see two players fighting 2 A enemies and 1 B enemy that they are going after enemy A. But it could be they were just unlucky and attracted/caught 2 enemies they did not want. Most of the time they very well do want the A enemies, but there is always the chance they don't or they may even be after both.
I am sure there are others that have similar ways of looking at and playing the game as you do. But obviously their are many others who have a totally different way of seeing and playing the game.
With so many players we all have to accept that there will be different ways of seeing things and be accepting and tolerant of those who view things differently from us.
2. I wasn't particularly annoyed when they joined; I was more confused because I didn't understand why they joined. I was fighting Undead Wizards when they needed Crawlers; they completely ignored me the last fight (and I did try to talk to them), so they obviously weren't looking to be social.
You were still making them feel unwelcome to join you. You joined their battle to get what you wanted and they joined yours to get what they wanted. So what is the difference here? The difference is that when you joined they said nothing and when they joined you asked them why they didn't start their own. It is easy for me and it appears from the response of others that you were complaining about them joining you.
You feel it is unrealistic to ask other players if you are welcome before joining an ongoing battle. That is fine, the game does not require you to. The other players did not respond when you attempted to be social, that is fine the game doesn't require that people be social with everyone who talks to them. They may or may not been annoyed at you joining them. You cannot know the reason they choose not to speak to you without them saying why themselves. You can only guess or assume.
If you join a battle welcome or unwelcome for whatever reason or guidelines you use, you are going to have to accept other players join you for whatever reason or guidelines they have come up with through their experience with the game.
Instead of saying "why didn't you start you own fight?” you could have said; "oh, I am after undead enemies". To further diffuse the situation you could have added a "lol" or apologize for the misunderstanding.
3. I have never run into this type of situation before, which is why I'm so thrown for a loop.
As the old saying goes, "There is a first time for everything". And something like this could easily happen again regardless of this being the first time.
I think the main problem here is players making assumptions on both sides. Also, when one chooses to not take other players sensitivities into account, whether one understands and/or accepts them or not, there are going to be hard and/or hurt feelings. Talking those out rather than attacking or defending. Being accepting and willing to compromise. These can help prevent arguments. As my mother told me and I am sure others have heard this, too, it takes two to fight. If you refuse to fight there isn't one.
There was assumptions and lack of communication on the part of all parties and all need to accept the responsibility of the situation you described. My advice is if you are still in communication with the other two players, offer an olive branch, apologize for your part, do not demand one from them. If they apologize in turn it would be gracious of you to accept it. If they accept your apology, great. If not, that is their choice, accept that. Let them know you regret that they will not accept it, but you respect their decision and go on. It is always best to take the higher road.
