In seasnake's "Times in a row Insane Bolt has Killed caster" post, crystalwizard12345 suggested I do this:
crystalwizard12345... wrote:
1. write out what you want to say the way you want to say it.
2. step back, relax, re-read it, think
3. edit your post. revising out phrasing that might be too harsh, thinking about how it might hit someone else. Also fixing anything that is confusing or unclear.
4. step back, think, let the emotions go if there are any
5. re read again, edit again if necessary.
eventually you'll have a post that says what you want, and is phrased in a manner that is both clear and that won't get other people's ire up.
If necessary, have someone else read it before you post and point out where possible issues are that you might want to rephrase further.
Believe it or not I already do this, and I'm sick and tired of putting in the extra work and still being attacked for speaking my mind. Why should I proofread and edit and revise just because my posts may come off caustic when, according to the regular posters, it's not even working? Even if it was working, why must I spend so much time doing all that just to say what I need to say so it doesn't inadvertently hurt someone's feelings? Either way, this is a Forum, not an English essay. I'm only going to say this once more: offending people was the last thing I wanted to do. If you knew me you'd know that what I say doesn't come from a place of malice because I am not that kind of person. What I say comes from a place of honesty, brutal or otherwise. If I think an idea is ridiculous, I will not sugarcoat it. That is something I refuse to do because to me it's no better than lying. To make the long story short, since my way of expression obviously offends people I've chosen to leave the Forum. This is my last word on the matter, and before anyone says so, this thread isn't some narcissistic attempt to garner sympathy and pleads to stay. I made this thread so that I could say everything I wanted to say and not get flagged for going off topic.
In seasnake's "Times in a row Insane Bolt has Killed caster" post, crystalwizard12345 suggested I do this:
crystalwizard12345... wrote:
1. write out what you want to say the way you want to say it.
2. step back, relax, re-read it, think
3. edit your post. revising out phrasing that might be too harsh, thinking about how it might hit someone else. Also fixing anything that is confusing or unclear.
4. step back, think, let the emotions go if there are any
5. re read again, edit again if necessary.
eventually you'll have a post that says what you want, and is phrased in a manner that is both clear and that won't get other people's ire up.
If necessary, have someone else read it before you post and point out where possible issues are that you might want to rephrase further.
Believe it or not I already do this, and I'm sick and tired of putting in the extra work and still being attacked for speaking my mind. Why should I proofread and edit and revise just because my posts may come off caustic when, according to the regular posters, it's not even working? Even if it was working, why must I spend so much time doing all that just to say what I need to say so it doesn't inadvertently hurt someone's feelings? Either way, this is a Forum, not an English essay. I'm only going to say this once more: offending people was the last thing I want to do. If you knew me you'd know that what I say doesn't come from a place of malice because I am not that kind of person. What I say comes from a place of honesty, brutal or otherwise. If I think an idea is ridiculous, I will not sugarcoat it. That is something I refuse to do because to me it's no better than lying. To make the long story short, since my way of expression obviously offends people I've chosen to leave the Forum. This is my last word on the matter, and before anyone says so, this thread isn't some narcissistic attempt to garner sympathy and pleads to stay. I made this thread so that I could say everything I wanted to say and not get flagged for going off topic.
There's no doubt that I wish you the best, Akihiro. I would vouch for you to say that you should stay on this forum, even though sometimes you can critisize (as we all do sometimes). I'd consider it a great thing that you should stay posting. Please consider this.
Now my old post had some wrong words. If your type of posting is sometimes insulting, it is your right to post it. I really wish you the best if you do not consider staying on this forum, but if you do, I'd like to thank you personally for it as you are a great poster on it.
All in all, it is your choice if you want to leave or stay. Really, crystalwizard12345 had the wrong idea, for you are correct when you say you should not even have to proofread and waste your message board-forum time on that. If this isn't convincing for you, I'd like a proper vote.
So who agrees Akihiro should stay! I would definitely agree on that.
I hope you will come back. We have had different opinions, but, with respect for one another.
I know you put a great deal of time and effort into your posts. I also know you will apologize and explain to others to help them see your point. You have done both with me.
You speak your mind plainly. I like that. No doubt where you stand. I tend to be blunt too.
I wish you'd stay. I like reading your posts. Even tho' they might be caustic sometimes, at least they are your opinion. Better to hear from someone who actually has an opinion, even if it might differ from mine or someone else's. However, if you choose to stay or not post, that's your perogative. I can point to (directly) about 10 posts that have just made me absolutely see red in these forums, so I get how walking away from posting can keep you from losing your account. Best of the best, Akihiro. At least most of the time you make sense, and... P.S. I've never been personally offended by anything you've posted. :D That's saying something. :)
One the one hand, I think proof reading is vital. You are MUCH more likely to be taken seriously if your post reads like you put intelligent effort into it. Also, an easier tone of the post, sugar coating it if you will, is more politic and your post will be received more favorably and not rejected by impulse or revulsion.
On the other hand, there is a certain amount of catharsis in speaking your mind and saying exactly what you want. It is also easier and in some ways more satisfying.
Which style you choose depends on your goal: 1) Try to affect real change 2) Vent/Gossip/Play
We are all allowed to freely speak and express our opinions here as long as we do it in a respectful way that does not insult or attack other people. As far as crystals reply I think she might be taking this forum a bit too seriously, I mean come on, it's a thread post not a presidential speech lol.
we do not know the age or maturity level of some of the thread starters so it's important to reply in a way that does not hurt feelings or make someone feel stupid for suggesting something or voicing their opinion. Some people forget that this game is for all ages and that people from different countries who might not have English as a first language play as well, Attacks on grammar or spelling are just plain ignorant and have no place in the game or the forum. Let's say you have a young child (if you don't) how would you feel if someone was borderline harrasing them about their spelling errors on a forum....
I know the op was not doing the above but I thought this was a fitting thread to add my thoughts. As far as the OP's post, if you enjoy reading and posting here stay. Don't leave something you enjoy because of words from someone you don't know, just be constructive, offer advice and try not to be to harsh on people.
We are all allowed to freely speak and express our opinions here as long as we do it in a respectful way that does not insult or attack other people. As far as crystals reply I think she might be taking this forum a bit too seriously, I mean come on, it's a thread post not a presidential speech lol.
we do not know the age or maturity level of some of the thread starters so it's important to reply in a way that does not hurt feelings or make someone feel stupid for suggesting something or voicing their opinion. Some people forget that this game is for all ages and that people from different countries who might not have English as a first language play as well, Attacks on grammar or spelling are just plain ignorant and have no place in the game or the forum. Let's say you have a young child (if you don't) how would you feel if someone was borderline harrasing them about their spelling errors on a forum....
I know the op was not doing the above but I thought this was a fitting thread to add my thoughts. As far as the OP's post, if you enjoy reading and posting here stay. Don't leave something you enjoy because of words from someone you don't know, just be constructive, offer advice and try not to be to harsh on people.
I had to come back and address the spelling and grammar comment. Learning languages is my forte; I've been learning different languages since elementary school. It might just be me, but when I learn a language I want to learn every aspect of it. Speaking, listening, reading, and writing. I only comment on spelling and grammar in extreme cases where I literally cannot understand what the person is saying, and it doesn't matter to me if they're from another country because to me I'm helping them. When you tell me that helping people in this way is "ignorant", that's offensive to me. I don't care that this is a Forum; if I can't understand what you're saying I'm going to correct you whether you like it or not. Believe me, for every comment I make regarding spelling and grammar, there's at least 100 I haven't made. Call me an "OCD twitchy person" all you want (not implying that you've called me that, but I have been called that by a certain member of this Forum); it's not gonna change me and I don't see why it should. To answer your question, I would make sure my child uses proper spelling and grammar, so that wouldn't even be an issue.
Didn't crystalwizard state that the list they posted was the process they go through before they post? it's difficult to tell on these boards whether someone is being condescending or just think they are posting something helpful. leaving the forums over such a possible misunderstanding seems a little drastic to me. if you'll feel more at ease leaving, go ahead, but it's apparent people enjoy your posts. i'm not going to vote because you're going to do what you're going to do, so that would be silly. and i'm never silly, so my vote is for you to stay. (also i never contradict myself, yet i contradict myself all the time.)
Are you really going to leave over what people think..
DON'T
you have a right to be here just like anyone else.. and from what i read- you didn't say much out of line.. I did disagree with how you said shielding wouldn't help, but that is just my opinion..
i have gotten into arguements with people on here before and i could really care less what people on a game forum think of me..
you don't know these ppl on a personal level, so who cares really.
The one thing about a forum or writing in general is you can't see people's emotions in writing.. I could be sitting here happy as can be, and writing something, and someone can take my writing a totally different way than what was intented..
So don't worry about the few people on here that have an issue with what you wrote- they couldn't see your emotion behind it- and only you know what you meant to say and the way you meant to say it- if they took it out of context that is their problem not yours.
It would be nice if queenlybluebean and BrooklynOrcbane would give their opinions on this.
Taryn aka BrooklynOrcbane is not playing Wizard at the moment.
I do hope you keep posting. I know you have been targeted for harsh criticism. We became friends of sorts because of it. I can't stand when people get to harsh.
Didn't crystalwizard state that the list they posted was the process they go through before they post? it's difficult to tell on these boards whether someone is being condescending or just think they are posting something helpful. leaving the forums over such a possible misunderstanding seems a little drastic to me. if you'll feel more at ease leaving, go ahead, but it's apparent people enjoy your posts. i'm not going to vote because you're going to do what you're going to do, so that would be silly. and i'm never silly, so my vote is for you to stay. (also i never contradict myself, yet i contradict myself all the time.)
Oh no! I'm not leaving because of crystalwizard12345 comment. My original message was supposed to be a reply, but I was worried that it might not be approved since I had pretty much hijacked the thread already.
Taryn aka BrooklynOrcbane is not playing Wizard at the moment.
I do hope you keep posting. I know you have been targeted for harsh criticism. We became friends of sorts because of it. I can't stand when people get to harsh.
I had to come back and address the spelling and grammar comment. Learning languages is my forte; I've been learning different languages since elementary school. It might just be me, but when I learn a language I want to learn every aspect of it. Speaking, listening, reading, and writing. I only comment on spelling and grammar in extreme cases where I literally cannot understand what the person is saying, and it doesn't matter to me if they're from another country because to me I'm helping them. When you tell me that helping people in this way is "ignorant", that's offensive to me. I don't care that this is a Forum; if I can't understand what you're saying I'm going to correct you whether you like it or not. Believe me, for every comment I make regarding spelling and grammar, there's at least 100 I haven't made. Call me an "OCD twitchy person" all you want (not implying that you've called me that, but I have been called that by a certain member of this Forum); it's not gonna change me and I don't see why it should. To answer your question, I would make sure my child uses proper spelling and grammar, so that wouldn't even be an issue.
if you had read my post entirely you would have seen this phrase
TravisAK wrote:
I know the op was not doing the above but I thought this was a fitting thread to add my thoughts.
I'm sry you got offended by something that was cleary not directed at you but that is your choice. People have to realize that VERY young people are privileged to post here on the forum and it is our responsibility as more mature players to approach people in a kind and respectful way. If you want to play teacher fine by me, it's when people attack others here because of simple spelling or grammar mistakes that makes me angry. Not everyone has the capacity or the maturity level to comprehend perfect English or grammar so should not be attacked for it. Okay, before you take offense I will add (please read) I know the op was not doing the above but I thought this was a fitting thread to add my thoughts.
Please don't leave, this is a forum for the entire community and I think that everyone should be able to speak their opinions freely. Helpful criticism is ok but when people insult and argue people I don't think that should be allowed. Anyway I'm not saying that this needs to be a perfect forum with gummy bears and chocolate but people shouldn't have to want to leave just for speaking their opinion. Hope to see you in the spiral and on the message boards.
Destiny - lvl 60 storm (wishing i could be on to start wt >.< )
This isn't your average everyday forum that we can do as we please in. This forum is moderated, and the moderators have made it plain that we have to behave here.
There's no reason to be "brutally honest" with anybody except those who don't respond to a tactful approach. It's not that difficult to disagree with or correct somebody without calling them a "noob", "clueless", saying "you don't know what you're talking about", etc. There are more than a few people here who have many posts (i.e. MikeStrath, honeybee313), who go about their business without usually hurting the other person's feelings.
Didn't crystalwizard state that the list they posted was the process they go through before they post? it's difficult to tell on these boards whether someone is being condescending or just think they are posting something helpful. leaving the forums over such a possible misunderstanding seems a little drastic to me. if you'll feel more at ease leaving, go ahead, but it's apparent people enjoy your posts. i'm not going to vote because you're going to do what you're going to do, so that would be silly. and i'm never silly, so my vote is for you to stay. (also i never contradict myself, yet i contradict myself all the time.)
Oh no! I'm not leaving because of crystalwizard12345 comment. My original message was supposed to be a reply, but I was worried that it might not be approved since I had pretty much hijacked the thread already.
ah, thanks for the clarification. it's good to see responsible posters on here who avoid the discourtesy of hijacking posts... oh, wait, that's right- you're leaving...
Other than trying to stir up trouble, what's the point in making that part of your remark?
EDIT: never mind. I see what you mean. It's obvious that the opening poster isn't leaving. This is another "I want attention" farewell speech that gets dragged on and on, the end result being that the person leaving doesn't leave.
This isn't your average everyday forum that we can do as we please in. This forum is moderated, and the moderators have made it plain that we have to behave here.
There's no reason to be "brutally honest" with anybody except those who don't respond to a tactful approach. It's not that difficult to disagree with or correct somebody without calling them a "noob", "clueless", saying "you don't know what you're talking about", etc. There are more than a few people here who have many posts (i.e. MikeStrath, honeybee313), who go about their business without usually hurting the other person's feelings.
I realize this isn't your "everyday" Forum, which is why I already censor myself to the extent that crystalwizard12345 auggested. There may not be a reason to be brutally honest in your opinion, but that's just my method of giving feedback. You can name all the people you know that "go about their business without usually hurting the other person's feelings" until you feel like you've made you point, but I'm gonna stay the same no matter what. This is why I've made the decision I've made.
I'm sry you got offended by something that was cleary not directed at you but that is your choice. People have to realize that VERY young people are privileged to post here on the forum and it is our responsibility as more mature players to approach people in a kind and respectful way. If you want to play teacher fine by me, it's when people attack others here because of simple spelling or grammar mistakes that makes me angry. Not everyone has the capacity or the maturity level to comprehend perfect English or grammar so should not be attacked for it. Okay, before you take offense I will add (please read) I know the op was not doing the above but I thought this was a fitting thread to add my thoughts.
I did read your post in its entirety; I thought you were being sarcastic since I've made many comments on other people's spelling and grammar and I even made an entire thread on the subject some time ago. Anyway, like I've mentioned a million times the game is rated E10+. I don't consider the kids that should be playing this game "very young", so I won't hesitate in correcting someone of that age. As much as I'd like everyone to use proper spelling and grammar, I do realize that this is the internet. Not only do people around the world have access to this Forum, but a lot of people consider the internet a place where you don't need to use proper spelling and grammar (which annoys me to no end), and that's why I only comment in situations where I feel I have to. Of course I can only speak for me, but I won't lie and say I breathe a sigh of relief when I see someone correcting another over a simple error in spelling and/or grammar.
:( Well, on a lighter note, if you really are leaving then thank you for all your helpful input to so many questions on this forum. It will be missed by at the very least one person.
